Homunculus

i came home wiped out from work and here was her thought on it…love you my baby girl…

Some of us are too easily identified by our scars. … Too many people …look only at your marks and not at the graceless way you keep avoiding future ones. Which is really all that matters – the moving on.

Angela Lovell
Live Bait Works Best
http://www.commonties.com/blog/2007/03/28/live-bait-works-best/

Well, been swamped with work since the beginning of the year and I’ve alternately used my desktop and my laptop. So that you know how I’ve made optimum use of my hardware, my desktop’s speakers were the first to go..followed by my monitor. Had to dig this monitor up from the boxes. It belonged to my old set. Eventually though, this too screamed abuse and…well, decided to lie down hehe. A friend of mine says it’s just a loose chip or something that needs soldering… but ah well. It’s providence saying ‘shit, girl, cool it!‘

I believe in all that has never been spoken
I want to free what waits within me
so that what no one has dared to wish for
may for once spring clear
without my contriving.

Then in these swelling and ebbing currents,
these deepening tides moving out, returning,
I will sing you as no one ever has,
streaming through widening channels
into the open sea.

this is an exchange between me and my wild woman ros, goddess and friend…a long time ago…

From Ros:

i love
the wonderful woman in you
for you have been brave enough
to enjoy every corner
every joy
and every sorrow

dearest friend rosgali

one can never have enough
love
and loving thoughts
and words of grace
from friends who
see you

you are beautiful rosgali
thank you for being my muse this moment…

I just bought story two baby red-eared slider turtles (i just found out they were salmonella carriers, damn.) and naturally, my curiosity about the species is at a high these days. We brought the couple with us to visit relatives in Toril. Just because they had an outdoor pool/bathtub overflowing with spring water, and we just knew Harry and Hermione would love that. Anyway.
When my uncle saw them, he informed me that bigger ones (he formed a fist to show me how big) were being sold in the Toril public market at 40 pesos apiece, and they were usually bought by the Chinese for Turtle Soup and by others as a cure for asthma.
So I told him to buy one, just for the heck of it. The one he brought back to us was bigger than his fist. Damn.
I just had to make him go back and save more. Turtle Soup. Damn people.
When we got there, the couple had about 3 sacks full of turtles, and 2 tubs of water with about 10 turtles each tub, as display items. The apparently bought them from a breeder in Cotabato, for 25 pesos each.Turtle Soup. Damn.
With me were my two cousins, uncle, and my daughter. In effect, we were a crowd. So naturally, shoppers got curious. While I was choosing the four adolescents to take home, about 3 families were also choosing their own pets.
As we were leaving, I kinda shouted “Save the Turtles from Turtle Soup!!!! ”
Ah well. Story’s cousins are getting their Christmas gifts way too early this year.

Here’s my Storygirl. She’s past just smiling in front of cameras..she either acts - which she does here (on a pirate adventure, long tongue, harvesting) or she takes the pictures

hehe let me clarify - i did not formally teach her to pick her nose. it’s just one of those things kids pick up from the adults around them — you know, like tilting your body to your side when you fart, or saying “be” (as in pahingi be, or akin na yan be) or “lagi” (hindi lagi, ayaw ko lagi, akin na lagi). but i did teach her what not to do to her booger - not to eat it , wipe it on her dress, or store it secretly under chairs or tables hahaha.

she just started playschool and i dread what else she’ll pick up there, from her playmates hehehe. good thing i’m not there to “instigate” bwahahahahahaha

This year is my time of reckoning…no, not gonna die yet (I choose not to, anyway). This is the year when I pay up my debts, beginning with things I said I’d do and never did- like hang up all those art pieces, or get that haircut, or clean my car, or have my teeth fixed, or get a new job, etc. etc. I already did the first three things on my list. It’s looking good so far. There are a lot more to do, but they have to wait until dawn to be done (or until Story goes to sleep) because of all the domestic chores I have to do. My mom’s sick so I’m doing most of the chores, plus, all those things for Storygirl.

It isn’t going so well with work though. They’ve started work on the 15th and I’m still in Davao. But they’ll live and do well; the boss is there. I’m just a little depressed because the laptop’s harddrive crashed. DAMN. That was not on my list hehehe.

Well, it’s official. I am not out of circulation. Dial-up sucks

It’s the last day of work for the year, and I’ve packed all my things, from the boarding house and here in the office. Packing was mechanical and I was detached to the spaces.

The room I rented was just a gate away from the dangers of CDOs nightcrawlers, a view that wasn’t the office, a bed to crash into, and a place to do some of my laundry. I work most of the day and night and usually have just enough energy to wash and brush my teeth before sleeping.

Though I’ve met some of my boardmates, I’ve forgotten their names seconds after they told me, and I’m not around long enough to have a decent and long conversation with any of them. There’s a girl who lost one eye to cancer; a plump but sexy woman from Cavite, a thin by-the-book mid-ager, a sweet colehiyala, and a teacher with a big mole on her face. They’re all nice unless you meet them while lining up to use the bathroom, and you were there first, by a mere technicality. Like an alarming clock.

My happy and definitely gay landlord has just wished me good luck. Ah. Now it’s here. The feeling of uncertainty. I hate this feeling. Well, maybe not hate. It’s too strong a word for this discomfort.
Anxious.
Worried.
Anxious.